With the news of George Floyd circulating the internet, there has finally been the low rumblings of outrage rising – not from the black community – but from the white community, particularly from influencers. And I think that’s massive.
The more I analyze what role I play in all of this – as a “white” girl (technically half white and half asian, but I definitely look white enough to experience a life of white privilege) – the more I become passionate about what steps the white community needs to take to do their part in ending racism in America.
Because if you look at most major victim-scenarios in the world, you’ll find that it’s incredibly rare (if ever, but I’m leaving margin for error) for the victimized people group to bring permanent change to the culture they live in on their own. They can escape on their own, but to actually advocate for a permanent cultural shift requires those who are not victimized to fight on their behalf.
Which leads to the question – how do I, as a white person, fight to end racism in our culture? Glad you asked, ’cause I have some opinions on the matter.
1. CULTURAL AWARENESS
When I was in my early 20s, I had a very short pageant season and my platform, the “cause” that I advocated for, was “cultural awareness.”
Because I believed that the first step in ending hate crimes, racism and prejudices was simply to be more aware of the vast array of different cultures, beliefs and lifestyles of people groups internationally and domestically. The more a person experiences how different people can be, the more accepting they become that there is not one right or better way to believe, act or look. And subsequently, the more open they are to loving and respecting people who are different from themselves.
The same concepts carry-over to what is required for America, as a whole, to learn to love and respect each other, regardless of differences. You can’t begin to respect people who are different than you if you believe, even subconsciously, that you are better than them because of your age, religion or color of your skin.
We’re all equally valuable. And until you reach across the demographic divides to truly try to understand different cultures and individual people, it will be incredibly difficult to see them as individuals, rather than judge them as a people group.
So the first step in ending the racial divide requires the white community to start genuinely getting to know the black community and really get to know them as individuals. That way, you can teach your children that people are different but still equally valuable, because you’ll have friends that are of a different color. And when someone makes a derogatory remark about a black person, you’ll speak up, because it’s not just a derogatory remark about “those people out there”, but it’s a derogatory remark about people you know and care about.
2. ADMIT THERE IS A PROBLEM
Usually, the more entangled your life becomes interracially, the more quickly you become aware that there is still a racism issue in America. So if you apply #1 and start making black friends, it shouldn’t be long before you realize that they live in a different America than you do as a white person.
However, if you don’t have close black friends, I can imagine that you live in a world where the only racism you see are the extreme tragedies of white cops killing black people circulating on the news. And without any other evidence of that racism played out on a daily basis, it would be natural for a white person to assume that those are “just extreme cases” or that there’s “more to the story” or that it’s being “blown out of proportion.”
But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Because the black community knows racism still exists before they even learn to speak. They actually live it. I don’t experience that racism in any way personally, but I am aware that there is a problem ONLY because I had a diverse upbringing.
As a child, my world was a rainbow of colors – my godfather/cousins are black, we went to a “black church” for a season, and in elementary school I was one of the only two white people in my group of friends. And when I was in middle school and started dating a black guy, I became acutely aware of the racial issues that still exist.
Immediately after finding out about my relationship, an elderly white woman sat me down and voiced her concerns about the difficulties I would experience dating someone of color because of existing prejudices in our culture and told me I needed to seriously reconsider the choices I was making in life.
I was stunned. The lady meant well and I don’t consider her a “racist” because she as an individual loved and accepted the black community, but the fact that she felt she needed to have that conversation with me in the first place made me aware of three things:
- Our American culture still has race issues and still sees and judges people based on the color of their skin, rather than the condition of their character and heart.
- Just because you don’t hate black people doesn’t mean you aren’t still hurting the cause for equality with deeply-rooted prejudices that will reveal themselves in time even if you aren’t aware they exist inside of you.
- The advice for me to keep my distance to protect myself from hardships is the exact reason we are still dealing with racism. If I truly cared about someone who has to live those hardships on a daily basis, then what kind of person would I be if I “distanced myself” simply so I wouldn’t experience the negligible “hardships” of questionable stares and left them to fend for themselves with the hardships of life and death – when instead, I might actually have the power to drop an ounce of equality in the sea of cultural perceptions? We don’t need to be exercising caution in our relationships across the racial divide, we need to get rid of the racial divide.
That relationship didn’t end because of her advice, it ended later because middle school relationships tend to be flaky in the first place. But in hindsight, it does make me wonder how a person who doesn’t interact with black people on a regular basis would become aware of how serious these issues are.
The answer is that they’ll become more aware as more of their “white” friends become aware and they start talking about it more. It has to be a topic of conversation – not in black circles – but in white circles. Because until the white community can admit there is a problem, they will continue to be a part of the problem.
If you don’t have any white friends around you discussing this, then I encourage you to educate yourself so that you can start the discussions. There was an article posted yesterday by a guest contributor on Dr. Caroline Leaf’s blog that gave some brief, but great examples of the prejudices that a black man has to face on a daily basis – even in the best-case scenarios. You can read the article here: https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/can-i-switch-off-my-brain-being-black-in-america-is-tiring-even-during-a-pandemic
Secondly, there was a video I saw about ten years ago that showed a social experiment where a white man, a black man and a pretty girl pretend to be stealing a bike in a public park. They’re all about the same age and dress and talk similarly – the most obvious difference being their race and gender. It’s incredibly interesting to see the racial (and gender) prejudices unfold in such a controlled case study. It’s a dated video, but it’s a good start if you are trying to figure out whether there is really a problem or not: https://youtu.be/ge7i60GuNRg
Hopefully this gets you to the point that you can finally admit that there is a serious problem and start spreading awareness within your influence so that we can move into step #3 of ending the racial divide.
3. DESEGREGATE YOUR LIFE
If we are going to fight this and make progress, we need to be intentional about desegregation in our own lives and anywhere we have influence.
Anyone that works with me on a decision-making level knows that this is something I get fired up about. I can’t stand seeing anything I have influence over being one color. Whether it’s a group of people on a stage, pictures of models on marketing materials, the cast of a movie or the people I employ or partner with. I am adamant in getting diversity showcased on anything my hand touches.
I completely understand that we can’t make all our hiring/booking decisions based on color alone. There are many times that the people I bring together end up being one color unintentionally because I made choices based on the budget, the target demographic, the convenience of my current network or efficiency. Those things are certainly things to consider when making personnel choices, but as racial tensions become more widespread and the consequences of racism continues to take more black lives, our decision-making priorities need to become more intentionally bent on showcasing diversity.
I’m not going to be able to showcase diversity in every decision I make, but what I can do is actively look for every opportunity to do so because I believe that showcasing diversity in our own lives is the root of change. Our culture needs to see diversity represented because it communicates three things: that black people are valued, that white people need to get over their prejudices and that there is hope.
For example, if a diverse audience walks into an auditorium and sees a stage of ten people but doesn’t see a single black person on the stage, what does that communicate to them?
It may seem like nothing to you as a white person, but for a black person – even on a subliminal level – it can be a painful reminder that segregation still exists in their community, that they are not fully accepted and subsequently, not fully valued. Even if that’s far from the truth and other legitimate factors played a major role as to why that stage doesn’t represent the black community, it’s still a painful reminder.
For the white person, seeing a stage of all white people simply makes them feel comfortable and accepted in a segregated environment. Which makes the white person feel good, but wrongfully-so. They shouldn’t feel totally comfortable in absence of color in their lives.
However, if people walk into the auditorium and see a stage of diverse ethnicities performing together, in unity, what does that communicate?
It communicates to the black person that they are represented and therefore, valued. It also sends a message of hope for equality because they can see, with their own eyes, every race performing together side-by-side.
For the white person, it serves two purposes. First, if the stage diversity doesn’t feel as comfortable to them, it can be a catalyst in making them more aware of their own prejudices and preferences so that they can deal with them. And secondly, it’s planting seeds of what “normal” should look like for them.
I used a stage of white people as an example, but the same concept can be applied to a stage of all black people or to a group of all-white friends walking down the street or eating dinner at a restaurant.
4. REPEAT
Just like in media, what people see on a regular basis eventually shapes their views and ultimately, the entire culture.
So the more diversity we showcase in our own lives, the more diversity the people around us see and the more normalized it becomes for them and subsequently, the more diversity they begin to see in their friendships which helps them accept people of different color into their world (#1) and thus, makes them more aware of the racial issues (#2) and then turns them into outspoken advocates to help end the racial divide (#3).
And that’s how a “not racist, but still unknowingly prejudice” white person becomes an advocate against racism. One person at a time.
