The more life I live, the more I come to a fuller understanding of how “human” people are. It doesn’t matter how old someone is, how genuinely they love Jesus or how much they should’ve known better – people are still human and humans are flawed. They always have been and they always will be.
Coming to this understanding has caused me to look at human failure with significantly less judgment and exponentially more grace. Because the truth is, we will all fail somehow at some point simply because we are human.
That failure may come in the shape of a massive moral failure, a rash response in a moment of heightened emotion or immaturity in our personalities that manifests itself on a daily basis. “Failure” comes in all shapes and sizes and we see it regularly in ourselves and others.
CASTING JUDGEMENTS
How we respond to those failures depends exclusively on our understanding of how flawed mankind is. If we unknowingly (or knowingly) hold the belief that perfection can be achieved, then we will respond to failures with more of a condemning attitude – within others and within others – passing judgements on hearts and situations that we know little about.
Only God can know a heart and only God can know what, when and how an issue should be addressed. When we, as imperfect people, observe a situation and begin to make statements like “they should know better” or “I would never do that” we only expose pride and a lack of understanding in ourselves.
First, knowing better doesn’t equal doing better. I’m sure everyone “knows better” than to eat too much dessert or skip a workout, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t still choose to make the wrong decision because of the temptations of the moment.
Secondly, the reality is, every person, put in circumstances that leave their weaknesses vulnerable is susceptible to major failures. Not all weaknesses are the same or equal, but claiming that you would “never” do something is claiming that you are able to achieve perfection in all circumstances.
Failure, especially major failures, happen gradually over time beginning with small, seemingly insignificant choices in the wrong direction. Continued over time, someone can easily find themselves in a position they “never” thought they’d be in. Instead of allowing pride to take root as we judge those situations, all of us would be wise to carry a spirit of humility in acknowledging that we are just as susceptible to failures in areas of our own lives so that we can take guard in our weaknesses and ultimately, avoid major failures.
“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things…so when you, a mere human being, pass judgement on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?” Romans 2:1-3 (NIV)
SHOWING GRACE
On the other hand, if we approach life with the understanding that every person is flawed in some way, then we are more likely to respond with grace and respond to failure with love. Loving someone does not mean that we ignore the failure. Consequences are a natural part of failure and if (and only if) it’s within your authority or influence to do so, then addressing an issue, setting boundaries and determining consequences is part of your role in helping someone grow.
For the rest of us, loving someone means caring about their well-being. It means praying for them and showing grace in your attitude and speech towards them and regarding them. It means understanding that the person who failed is not the enemy and in fact, could very well be victim or unaware of their own flaws and what they need most when a failure is exposed is not dismissive judgement, but redeeming grace.
After all, judgement is at the hand of God, but Jesus came to give us grace and it’s that grace that ultimately saves us from judgement. So if we are in pursuit of being more Christ-like, then it’s grace we need to show more of and leave the judgement in God’s hands.
